No, drunk sperm still make babies.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
