Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
