Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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