Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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