Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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