yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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