I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
