Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
