do herpes really smell.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize