dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
