my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
