every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
