sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
