that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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