she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
