I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
