So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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