Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
