i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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