i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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