i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Randomize
