My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.