Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
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surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
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I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl