so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
Me, myself and I
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.