If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
