I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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