you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
