Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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