i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
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I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
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We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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