I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
They took my balls.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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