Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
you would pick up someone in the library
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
