I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
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Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
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I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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