question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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