Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize