Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
