Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
