His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
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Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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