after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
