you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
