Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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