Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
