whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
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