Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
