butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
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