Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
