Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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