he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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