we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
