You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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