I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
God gave him joint rollers for hands
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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