Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Randomize
