We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
