have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
there is another microwave in the elevator.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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