No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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