ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
