another moral hangover. fuck.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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