First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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