the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
