I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
