Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
