You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot