ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful