Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging