i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Non-Jews are for practice
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED